Top-secret documents have been leaked, revealing that the Committee of Unconscionable Decisions has been secretly controlling world events from a hidden underground bunker.
The bunker, codenamed "The Pit", has been hidden beneath a abandoned amusement park, and is staffed by a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated bureaucrats.
According to sources, the committee has been manipulating global events to ensure maximum profit and chaos for their own amusement.
But don't worry, it's just a cover-up. Probably.