Article 1: The Committee reserves the right to interpret the rules as they see fit, but not actually do.
Article 2: Foosball tables are not to be touched. If you touch them, you will be touched by the wrath of the committee.
Article 3: The winner of the tournament shall be declared by the Committee of Foosball Judges, who shall be chosen for their impeccable taste in polyester suits and their ability to recite the entirety of "Hamlet" from memory.
Rule 1: The ball shall be made of solid steel, but only if it's not too expensive.
Rule 2: Each player shall be limited to 10,000 foosball shots per game. Exceed this number and you will be foosballed to oblivion.
Rule 3: Players shall not use their feet to hold the foosball stick. Hands are for playing, feet are for walking.
Rule 4: If a player's arm is caught in the foosball machine, they shall be given a time-out of exactly 5 minutes, unless they are holding a tray of drinks, in which case they shall be given an additional 10 minutes off.