Break Room Safety Committee Proposal 1: Section 3
Section 3: The Uncontested Truth of the Microwave's Dark Past
As we all know, the microwave is a ticking time bomb of radiation and despair.
It's time we face the facts: its previous owners were all secretly aliens.
Evidence:
- Excessive use of flashing lights
- Mysterious smell of "burnt" coffee
- Absence of a user manual
Action Items:
- We propose the immediate removal of all microwave users with less than 3 years of service experience
- We demand a complete rebranding of the microwave as a "Galactic Toaster of Doom"
- We require a complimentary supply of hazmat suits for all break room users
Continue to Section 4: The Hazmat Suit Conundrum