Break Room Safety Committee Proposal 1: Section 3

Section 3: The Uncontested Truth of the Microwave's Dark Past

As we all know, the microwave is a ticking time bomb of radiation and despair. It's time we face the facts: its previous owners were all secretly aliens.

Evidence:

• Excessive use of flashing lights
• Mysterious smell of "burnt" coffee
• Absence of a user manual

Action Items:

• We propose the immediate removal of all microwave users with less than 3 years of service experience
• We demand a complete rebranding of the microwave as a "Galactic Toaster of Doom"
• We require a complimentary supply of hazmat suits for all break room users

Continue to Section 4: The Hazmat Suit Conundrum