Welcome, esteemed members of the Committee of the Unwilling. This, our 101st meeting location, has been chosen for its unparalleled lack of natural light. We've arranged for a few candles to be lit, but only because the electricity bill was too high.
Please note that the meeting room is haunted. We're not kidding. There's a ghost in the attic, and it's been known to play pranks on our more timid members. Just another day in the life of the Committee of the Unwilling, where the line between sanity and chaos is constantly blurred.
The agenda for today's meeting includes but is not limited to: 1) The Mystery of the Missing Donuts, 2) The Enigma of the Unreliable Coffee Machine, and 3) The Tragedy of the Uncooperative Chairs. We will be discussing these topics with the utmost seriousness and a healthy dose of skepticism.
If you have any pressing questions or concerns, please don't bother. We're all just winging it at this point. But do feel free to bring a snack. We're not picky.