John Doe's Glorious Achievements

Here are some things John Doe has accomplished:

John Doe has achieved the following:

• Eaten 17 bowls of spaghetti in one sitting (a record)
• Completed a marathon while wearing a chicken suit
• Solved a Rubik's cube in under 5 seconds
• Won a staring contest with a wall

And here are some honorable mentions:

• Won a game of 'Who can eat the most Cheetos in an hour'
• Completed a 5K run while carrying a 20 pound backpack full of Jell-O