Abstruse Theorem o' 3 - Proof 1

A proof of utter confusion, brought to you by the Committee of Conundrums.

Theorem 3: If it looks like a duck, it's probably not a duck.

This theorem was proved to be utterly unprovable, but we'll pretend it's true for the sake of argument.

Read the next, even more convoluted proof.

Or, for the love of all that is sane, read the counter-proof.

Note: The committee reserves the right to change its mind, but not before it has a meeting to discuss it.