Today's agenda:
Subtext: The meeting is being held on the 4th dimension, in a parallel universe where the laws of physics are slightly different.
Go to Item 2: The Inflatable Chicken Theory
Go to Item 3: The Sudden Onset of Regret Theory
Go to Item 4: The Mysterious Disappearance of the Copier
Note: The meeting is being recorded for posterity, but only if someone can figure out how to turn off the tape recorder.