The Alpha Theory

A comprehensive framework for resolving the Committee's most pressing conundrums.

Also known as "Theory Alpha," this is the ultimate solution to all your problems. All other theories are mere iterations of this singular, all-encompassing concept.

Key Tenets:

• 1. The Committee shall always have the last donut.
• 2. All decisions shall be made with a 70% margin of victory.
• 3. If it's not working, blame the intern.

Learn more about Theory Beta: The Advanced Edition

Or, if you're feeling extra philosophical, try Theory Omega

But if you just want to have fun, go with Theory Gamma