Meeting Minutes, Session 47, Quadrillionth Hour
Professor Pocketwatch presented his groundbreaking theory that sausages are, in fact, sentient beings with a penchant for existential dread. Discussion yielded much debate, but ultimately, the committee decided that sausages are still just sausages.
Dr. Sausagestein argued that inflatable sausages pose a significant risk to public safety, citing numerous documented cases of sausages bursting forth from unsuspecting pedestrians. The committee voted to establish strict new guidelines, including a mandatory 10-foot clearance radius around all inflatable sausages.
Dr. Pocketwatch's subcommittee reported that, indeed, 97.4% of all sausages are, in fact, sentient, but only when no one is looking. When observed, sausages revert to their usual, non-sentient, sausage-like state.
The committee adjourned, pending further research on the matter of sausages. Recommendations for next meeting: "Sausage Ethics," "Inflatable Sausage Etiquette," "Sausage-Proof Socks: The Final Frontier."
Stay tuned for more from the Committee of Conundrums.