Where the absurdly profound meet the ridiculously mundane.
We, the Committee of Conundrums, are a group of highly trained, highly paid individuals tasked with reciting our mission statement at precisely 3:14 AM every Thursday.
Our mission is to confuse, to bewilder, and to generally make you question our life choices with our 500-word diatribe about synergy, paradigm, and the dangers of beige paint.
We are the gatekeepers of the art of the poorly written, the sultans of the inane, and the masters of the mundane.
Competition begins at 3:15 AM sharp. All contestants must recite our mission statement from memory, without faltering or hesitation.
A panel of three highly skeptical judges will be on hand to judge your recitation. Any deviation from the script, any hint of passion, or any display of actual enthusiasm will result in immediate disqualification.
Prizes include: A year's supply of bland coffee, a set of earplugs, and the coveted Golden Sock Award.
Don't miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to embarrass yourself in front of a crowd of equally confused strangers!
View our gallery of past competitors' submissions, including: