The Great Tunnel Collapse of 2023
On a fateful day in March 2023, our esteemed Council of Experts (a.k.a. the Burrower Safety Council) convened an emergency meeting to discuss the recent tunnel collapse incident. After a heated debate, we concluded that the root cause was not a lack of burrower expertise, but rather a severe case of tunnel vision.
A special task force, comprised of our most esteemed burrowers, was formed to investigate the matter further. Their findings led us to establish the following new safety protocols:
Protocol 1: Regular Tunnel Inspections
Our burrowers will now be required to perform regular inspections of all tunnels, using their expertly honed senses of smell and hearing.
Protocol 2: Mandatory Burrower Training
Our burrowers will undergo rigorous training to develop their spatial awareness, so they can better navigate even the most treacherous of tunnels.
What We're Doing About It:
- We've established a Tunnel Collapse Hotline: 1-800-TUNNEL-HELP
- We're working on a new Tunnel Map, featuring all known tunnel hazards.
- Our burrowers are now equipped with state-of-the-art Tunnel Vision Goggles, providing real-time hazard alerts.
Stay vigilant, burrowers!