Issue 1001 of 1000: The Unresolved Issue of Unresolved Issues

A special edition dedicated to the prophets of procrastination, the messiahs of multitasking, and the sultans of sidetracking.
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ประก We have received reports of a mysterious phenomenon known as "The Sudden Onset of Sudden Onsets." This affliction is characterized by an inexplicable urge to do nothing productive, despite the overwhelming sense of urgency and importance that surrounds you.

Our team of experts (okay, our intern) has identified three possible causes for this condition:

Stay tuned for further updates as our team works tirelessly to resolve this issue, or, you know, maybe just scroll through some cat pictures instead