Step 1: Unleash Your Inner Caveman

Take a deep breath, and let the primal forces of nature take hold. Stomp your foot, beat your chest, and shout "HUNGRY!" to awaken the dormant toasting spirit within.

Substep 1: Locate the Toaster's Weak Spot

Identify the toaster's Achilles' heel. In this case, it's probably the heating coils. Use a trusty hammer and a can of WD-40 to dislodge any debris clogging the coils. 

				// Unleash the beast
				$toaster_wild = true;
				while ($toaster_wild) {
					hammer_toe_coils();
					wd40_toe_dust();
				}

Step 2: Perform the Toaster Tango

Now that the coils are clear, it's time to get jiggy with the toaster. Perform the Toaster Tango, a complex series of movements that will awaken the toasting spirit. It involves a lot of hip swiveling, toe tapping, and awkwardly waving your arms.

Substep 2: The Toaster Tango Sequence

Here's the sequence: 1. Tap your toes 7 times while shouting "TOASTY!" 2. Spin around in a circle 3 times while holding a can of oil. 3. Stomp your foot 5 times while shouting "TOASTY!" again. 

				// Perform the Toaster Tango
				$tango_sequence = true;
				while ($tango_sequence) {
					tap_toes(7);
					spin_in_circle(3);
					stomp_foot(5);
				}

Conclusion

And that's it! Your toaster is now toasting like a pro. Well, maybe not a pro, but at least it's not a charcoal factory anymore. Congratulations, troubleshooter!

Read the Epilogue: The Aftermath of the Toaster Troubleshooting Adventure