TOASTER REPAIR PROTOCOL: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE
Step 1: Identify the Problem (Don't be an Idiot)
- Is your toaster on fire? If so, STOP READING AND CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
- Is it merely not toasting? Check for loose connections and jammed crumb trays.
Step 2: Gather Tools and Supplies (Don't be a Caveman)
- Screwdriver (preferably with a built-in bottle opener)
- WD-40
- Plastic bag for catching crumbs (because you don't want to be a slob)
Step 3: Disassemble and Inspect (Don't be a Lunatic)
Remove screws, clips, and other obstructions to access internal toaster guts.
- Check for burnt wiring and frayed cords (don't electrocute yourself, you dimwit)
- Inspect toaster coils for excessive crumb buildup
Step 4: Clean and Reassemble (Don't be a Lunatic)
Use a soft-bristled brush to scrub away grime and debris.
- Reattach screws, clips, and other obstructions (don't overtighten, you'll break it)
Step 5: Test and Re-Test (Don't be a Moron)
Plug it in, turn it on, and attempt to toast a piece of bread.
- If it still doesn't work, repeat steps 1-4 until you get it right, you incompetent fool.
Remember: TOASTING IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS. DON'T SCREW UP.
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