After a lengthy discussion, the committee decided that the coffee machine in the break room was not, in fact, a portal to another dimension. However, it was agreed that it did seem to be a portal to the depths of existential dread.
Resolution: The coffee machine will be replaced with a new one that doesn't make you question the fabric of reality.
The committee debated the merits of a meeting schedule that was somehow both overly optimistic and catastrophically pessimistic at the same time.
Resolution: The schedule will be revised to include more breaks for existential contemplation and less breaks for actual work.
The committee discussed the aesthetic of the chair's hair, which was described as "a sentient entity with its own agenda."
Resolution: The chair's hair will be provided with its own table at all meetings, but not before it's had a chance to vote.