Pony Cuddling: The Most Absurd Olympic Sport Ever Conceived
The International Committee of the Absurd has convened to discuss the merits of Pony Cuddling as an Olympic sport. After much debate and deliberation, we have reached a consensus: Pony Cuddling is, in fact, the perfect addition to the Olympic program.
Pony cuddling, for the uninitiated, is a sport in which competitors attempt to cuddle with as many ponies as possible within a set time limit. The goal is to establish a strong bond with each pony, to show them affection and kindness, and to make them feel safe and loved.
Our committee has worked tirelessly to develop the rules and regulations for this esteemed sport. We are pleased to announce that the following events will be included in the Olympic competition:
- Cuddle-a-palooza: Competitors must cuddle with 5 different ponies within a 10-minute time frame.
- Pony Pampering: Competitors must pamper 3 ponies for a total of 20 minutes without any breaks.
- Long-Distance Love: Competitors must cuddle with 1 pony for a total distance of 100 meters while maintaining eye contact.