Solve prophets and wizards' problems

Here at the Committee of Conundrums, our esteemed members have gathered to tackle the most confounding, befuddling, and downright befuddling dilemmas known to humanity.

But we can't figure it out without you! Please, help us unravel the mysteries of:

We'll provide the coffee, the confused looks, and theประกoccasional existential dread. You bring your brilliant ideas and/or utter nonsense.