Dear valued constituent, we are currently experiencing a conundrum in our contact system. Please try again in a few hours, or better yet, try using our newfangled Feedback Form to contact us. We'll do our best to respond in 2-5 business days, or whenever we get around to it.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try reaching out to our intern, Binx, at binxtheintern@example.com. Please don't expect a response, though. Binx is probably busy playing video games.