Our Privacy Policy

Because You Clearly Don't Have Enough Problems

We collect your browsing data, but only to make sure you're not a robot.

Our servers are located in a secret underground bunker, guarded by a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated ninjas.

What We Collect

Your Browsing History

We track every website you visit, including but not limited to:

• Every website you visit while eating a bowl of ramen noodles
• Every website you visit while watching cat videos
• Every website you visit while contemplating the meaning of life

Our Response to Your Data

minimalist

We'll use your data to create a highly accurate, completely unflattering portrait of you.

You may be shocked, appalled, and fascinated by the results.

View Your Profile

Disclaimer

By using our website, you agree to our terms of service, which are conveniently located on this very page, hidden behind a wall of spam.

We reserve the right to use our data for nefarious purposes, including but not limited to: