Our Secret Sauce Recipe

As a member of the Committee of Conundrums, we're proud to share our secret sauce recipe with you. But be warned: this is a recipe for the faint of heart, the weak of will, and the clumsy of hands.

Ingredients:

1 cup of despair

2 cups of desperation

1 tablespoon of existential dread

1/4 teaspoon of hopelessness

Pinch of salt

A dash of regret

1/2 cup of tears

1/4 cup of anger

A sprinkle of confusion

1/2 cup of frustration

Instructions:

1. Mix all ingredients in a large bowl.

2. Stir clockwise for exactly 7 hours and 14 minutes.

3. Serve in a small, intricately crafted teapot.

4. Garnish with a sprinkle of disappointment.

5. Serve to the masses, but only if you're feeling generous.

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