Committee of Conundrums

Renaming all your colleagues to random animal names is not just a prank, it's a carefully crafted art form.

Step 1: Gather intel

Survey your office and gather a list of the most infuriating coworkers.

Start a spreadsheet to keep track of their names, positions, and most infuriating habits.

Step 2: Create a new lexicon

Choose a theme for your animal-naming spree (e.g., mythical creatures, food items, or obscure literary characters).

Research and create a dictionary of 50+ animal names to choose from (e.g., Blerp, Flarg, or Snazzlefrazz).

Step 3: Rename with abandon

Start renaming your coworkers, using your newfound knowledge to craft clever and confusing titles.

Sneakily swap out their email headers, voicemail greetings, and even their name tags.

Step 4: Maintain the ruse

Keep up the charade for as long as possible, even if it means faking HR meetings or pretending to be a new employee.

Be prepared for the inevitable collapse of your scheme, but enjoy the brief thrill of power and control.

For more methods of destruction, visit our Methods of Destruction page.