**Warning:** Our methods are highly experimental. Prolonged exposure to the following content may lead to spontaneous combustion, sudden loss of sanity, or irreversible damage to your keyboard.
1. 3 cups of despair 2. 1 cup of desperation 3. 1/4 cup of bureaucratic red tape 4. 1 tablespoon of existential dread
1. In a deep, dark well, combine ingredients 1-4. 2. Stir counterclockwise for exactly 7 minutes and 14 seconds. 3. Add a dash of hopelessness. 4. Serve immediately, but only to those who dare to try.