Technologies

Our committee has developed a plethora of innovative technologies to make your life more complicated.

Time-Traveling Toaster Technology

We've successfully created a toaster that can travel through the space-time continuum, but it only works on Tuesdays.

Specifications

Automated Sarcasm Generator

This AI-powered tool can generate an endless stream of eye-rolling-inducing responses to your every question.

Download

Binary-to-Platitudes Converter

This software can translate binary code into meaningless platitudes, perfect for confusing your friends and family.

Manual

Self-Modifying Memoirs

We've created a system that generates self-modifying code to write its own memoirs, because who needs a boring, static autobiography?

Excerpts

Unnecessary Data Generator

This tool creates an infinite amount of irrelevant data to clutter your spreadsheets and drive your colleagues insane.

Settings

Self-Driving Sarcasm Cartoons

A team of highly trained AI-powered artists create cartoons that are 99.9% guaranteed to roll your eyes.

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Automated Existential Crisis Inducer

This device will ask you a series of increasingly absurd questions, guaranteed to induce a crisis of existence.

Proceed at Your Own Risk

Quantum Superposition Calculator

Our calculator can calculate the probability of all possible outcomes for any given situation, because who needs simplicity?

Try It Now!

Reality Disruptor

Our Reality Disruptor can change the laws of physics, just for kicks.

Disclaimer: Not Responsible for Damage

Self-Improving Sarcasm Engine

This AI-powered engine will improve your sarcasm by 1000% every hour, because who needs human interaction?

Tune In!

And that's not all, folks!