Demand 3: Mandatory Pencil Sharpening

By Order of the Committee for the Eradication of Boredom and Uncertainty, we hereby demand that all citizens be issued a free, high-quality pencil sharpener upon reaching the age of 18.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: loss of social media privileges, forced viewing of elevator music, and/or being forced to attend a never-ending seminar on "The Importance of Brevity in Modern Life."