Mandate 1: Because We Said So

Our mandate is clear: because we said so, you must comply. Don't ask questions, just do it.

Our lawyers have reviewed this mandate, and they said it's a good idea.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 2: The One That's Actually Important

This mandate is the one that really matters. Don't bother reading the fine print, just sign on the dotted line.

Our CEO has personally reviewed and approved this mandate, and he's a really important person.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 3: The Foe of All Foes

This mandate is so good that it's banned from being read by the public. Don't even try.

Our lawyers are still trying to figure out how to word this one, so just don't bother.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 4: Because We Have to

We're not really sure why we made this one, but we did. Don't ask questions.

Our accountants are still trying to figure out how to expense this one, so just don't bother.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 5: The One Where We Get to Wear Funny Hats

This mandate is a real doozy. We get to wear funny hats and eat cake, too.

Our team of highly trained experts has reviewed this mandate, and they said it's a good idea.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 6: Because Our Lawyers Said So

Our lawyers are really good at making us do things. Don't ask questions.

Our lawyers are still trying to figure out how to word this one, so just don't bother.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 7: We're Not Really Sure What This One Does

We made this one up as we went along. Don't worry about it.

Our team of highly trained experts is still trying to figure out what it does, so just don't bother.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 8: The One That's Definitely Not Important

This mandate is a real snooze-fest. Don't even try to read it.

Our accountants are still trying to figure out how to expense this one, so just don't bother.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 9: Because Our Intern Made Us Do It

This mandate was made by a highly trained expert in the field of "Intern-ology". Don't ask questions.

Our intern is still trying to figure out how to word this one, so just don't bother.

Learn more about our other mandates.

Mandate 10: The Final Countdown

This is the final mandate. Don't worry about it, just sign on the dotted line and get it over with.

We're done now, really. Just go home.

Start over from the beginning.