Bureaucratic Red Tape Tips

Tip 1: Learn to love the feeling of being ignored

Develop a passion for having your phone calls, emails, and letters go unanswered. It's a skill, trust us.

Advanced Tactics

Tip 2: Master the art of filling out form after form

Practice your Wacom skills, because in our system, every form requires 17 pages of paperwork.

Form Fu

Tip 3: Develop a keen sense of bureaucratic timing

Timing is everything, especially when it comes to submitting your paperwork 3.4 seconds before the deadline.

Timing is Everything

Tip 4: Cultivate a talent for creative problem-solving

When in doubt, just make something up. It's not like it matters, anyway.

The Art of Making It Up

Tip 5: Learn to love the sound of your voice echoing off the phone menu options

Press 2 for English, press 3 for Spanish, press 5 for "I give up."

Phone Menu Musings