Press Release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
John Doe, self-proclaimed Towering Titan of Committees, today announced his latest decision to unilaterally declare himself the winner of the Committee Foosball Tournaments.
"I am the greatest committee member the world has ever known," declared Doe. "My unparalleled ability to make decisions and then immediately forget what they were is unmatched."
When questioned about his opponent's concerns regarding the lack of transparency and accountability, Doe simply shrugged and said, "I am the committee, therefore I am."
As a result of this historic decision, the Committee Foosball Tournaments have been indefinitely delayed, pending further review and/or Doe's whim.
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