8:00 AM - Breakfast: Cereal with Milk (and also a side of existential dread)
9:00 AM - Meeting with Accounting Department to discuss the meaning of life (just kidding, we're just discussing the budget)
12:00 PM - Lunch: Free pizza for the top performers of the morning's "Who can eat the most Cheetos while on a conference call?" contest
2:00 PM - "Strategic Planning" Session: Because who doesn't love a good nap