Committees Committee Foosball Leagues Rules

Each player must handle the foosball stick with a minimum of 4.5 rotations per second. Any less, and you're out.

Rotations will be measured using a high-tech, totally-not-made-of-journalistic-rubbish sensor.

Any player found to be under-rotating will be subject to a 5-minute penalty, which may or may not involve eating an entire pizza by themselves.

Players are expected to keep their hands and feet off the table at all times, unless they are actually playing the game.

Any instances of "accidentally" touching the table will be met with a stern look from the Referee, who will be wearing a pair of novelty Groucho Marx glasses.

Repeated offenses will result in a one-game suspension, which may or may not involve being forced to watch reruns of "The Great British Baking Show" for an entire afternoon.

Players are not allowed to use sarcasm in any form, including but not limited to eye-rolling, tone, and implied disdain.

Sarcastic comments will be met with a 2-minute penalty, which may or may not involve being forced to watch an 8-hour loop of elevator music.