Article 1.1: The official ball of the committee is a regulation 4-inch diameter, chromed-plated, precision-balanced, and utterly-not-made-of-lead ball. Any attempts to replace it with a lesser ball shall be met with fierce resistance.
Article 1.2: Players must wear their best attempt at a 70s-inspired jumpsuit to the tournament. Failure to do so will result in penalties.
Article 2.1: The official stick of the committee shall be a 24-inch long, flat, black, and utterly-not-a-tennis-racket stick.
Article 2.2: Any player found using a stick not meeting these specifications shall be subject to stick-related charges.
Article 3.1: The official table of the committee shall feature a 4-player layout, with a 3-inch wide and 1.5-inch thick playfield.
Article 3.2: Any attempt to modify or alter the official table shall be met with swift and merciless penalties, including but not limited to: stick-related charges, ball-related charges, and possibly even stick-related charges.
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