REPORT MATTER-001

Committee on Matters That Should Probably Be Left to the Free Market

Report Summary: We spent 4 hours arguing over the optimal way to boil water, and we're still not convinced.

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Recommendations:

  1. More research on the optimal water boiling time
  2. Mandatory 3-day waiting period before boiling water for any purpose
  3. Creation of a new committee to deal with the existential implications of the boiling water debate

Subcommittee Report:

Chairperson, Subcommittee on Water Boiling: "I've come to a shocking realization: we've been wrong about everything."

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Next Meeting:

When: Never, because we're all exhausted

Where: The nearest coffee shop

Why: To forget what we were arguing about in the first place

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