Committee for the Promotion and Regulation of Extreme Slow-Mobility Sports

Subcommittee: Sports of Very Slow-Mobility

Meet the committee responsible for governing the most mind-numbingly sluggish sports on the planet. Our members are experts in the field of slow movement and we're here to make sure that Extreme Slow-Mobility Sports are given the respect and recognition they deserve.

Our current initiatives include:

• Olympic Sports of Sedentary - a series of competitions that require contestants to do absolutely nothing for as long as humanly possible
• Extreme Slow Dance Competitions - where our athletes compete to see who can dance the slowest, most awkward dance moves
• Slow-Mobility Simulation Sports - a virtual reality experience that lets you live vicariously through the thrill of extreme slow-mobility