2024-05-01: We Really Should Have Checked the Fridge Before Leaving the House

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WARNING: It has come to our attention that the subcommittee was compromised by a 3-day old pizza that had been left in the fridge since the Clinton administration. We are taking all necessary precautions and have called in a hazmat team to contain the situation.

Members of this subcommittee have reported experiencing symptoms such as: Nausea of the Mind, Existential Dread of the Fridge, and Irreparable Damage to Reputation.

  • Meeting adjourned indefinitely until further notice.
  • Recommendation: All members are to undergo a thorough psychological evaluation and re-education on personal responsibility.
  • Action Item: Fridge cleaning and disinfectant protocol to be implemented forthwith.