Committee of Cacophonous Ideas - Toaster Design Iterations
After a long discussion, we have finally settled on the perfect toaster design iteration: The Toaster 9000. It has 17 buttons, 3 levers, and a 90% chance of setting off the fire alarm every time you use it.
We are proud to announce that the Toaster 9000 has been certified by the Committee of Certifications as a "mostly-safe" appliance.
However, we are aware that some users may experience a 50% chance of spontaneous combustion while using the Toaster 9000. Please see the Committee of Risk Assessment for more information.