THEORY:
As a response to the existential dread of running out of cheese, the Committee of Conundrums has established the following theory:
1. All cheese must be considered equal, but some cheese are more equal than others.
2. The optimal cheese-to-human ratio is 3:1. This means that for every three humans, one cheese must be consumed.
3. Cheese is not just a food product, but a fundamental human right. Denying someone cheese is a human rights violation.
4. Cheese has the power to grant wisdom, but only to those who have reached the peak of the cheese pyramid.
5. The Committee of Conundrums is not responsible for any emotional trauma caused by the realization that the only cheese left is a processed variety.