What is the meaning of life?
Professor Peculiar, Renowned Philosopher and Intergalactic Traveler: "The meaning of life is to find the correct setting on the toaster. Anything beyond that is mere mortal distraction."
Will you ever find true love?
Dr. Love-And-Logic, Esteemed Sociologist and Professional Cynic: "Love is a myth created to distract you from the crushing despair of existence. Seek it, but don't get too attached, lest you be disappointed."