Committee of Conundrums Chairperson Statement

As chairperson of the Committee of Conundrums, I, Chairperson Reginald P. Bottomsworth, am pleased to report that our committee has been completely ineffective in addressing the pressing issues of our time.

Despite our best efforts, we have failed to not make any progress whatsoever on our minutes of nothing. We have created a committee of committee of inaction, which has been meeting in inactional sessions for months now.

In fact, our conundrum catalogue is so extensive that we've had to conundrums by the numbers to keep track of all the problems we've not solved.

• We have not, despite our best efforts, managed to fail to fail in a more spectacular manner.
• We have created a committee of red tape that rivals the complexity of the conundrums we're trying to address.
• We have published an annual report that is so boring it'll put you to sleep faster than a conundrum induction.

Conclusion:

We are the embodiment of inefficiency and we're proud of it.

Stay tuned for more updates on our continued non-progress!