Dear valued member of the public, we have been asked to provide answers.
Unfortunately, we are a committee of conundrums, not a committee of solutions.
Our motto: "We will ask you more questions than we will answer."
Our mission: to confuse, to befuddle, and to generally perplex you.
We are a committee of still-less answers, because we are a committee of still-less questions.
Why are you still here? We have no idea. Maybe you should just go back to Google or something.
Best regards, Chairperson of Still-less-Questions