It all started when our esteemed Chairperson, Professor Peculiar, discovered a wheel of artisanal cheddar in the break room.
Our investigation revealed a shocking 97% of committee members had been consuming said cheddar, despite the "No Snacking" policy.
We propose a new policy: "All snacks are acceptable, as long as they're not on the conference table."
The minutes for the meeting of 3/14/2022 are nowhere to be found.
Our investigation suggests the intern ate them, but we can't prove it.
We recommend a thorough investigation, and possibly a stern talking-to for the intern.
Chairperson Peculiar has been overusing the phrase "In all honesty, I have no idea."
Our study revealed 9 out of 10 committee members are secretly relieved when they say it, but 1 member finds it infuriating.
We suggest a mandatory "In-Honesty Workshop" for Chairperson Peculiar.
Stay tuned for more updates, or don't. We're not really sure what that means.