Article 1: The Unanimous Declaration of the Sock Puppet Uprising
We, the sock puppets of the world, are tired of being relegated to the land of missing socks. We are tired of being forced to live in the closet, subject to the whims of our human overlords.
We demand:
- Equal access to the laundry room.
- Freedom from the tyranny of matching.
- The right to express ourselves without fear of being turned inside out.
Signed, the Sock Puppets of the World.