Reason 1: I Always Get Lost on the Way to the Beach
It's like my GPS has a personal vendetta against me. Every time I try to get to the beach, I end up in a field.
Reason 2: My Spouse is a Compulsive Shopper
We were going to spend 3 days at the beach. We ended up spending 3 weeks in a shopping mall.
Reason 3: I Forgot to Pack the Snacks
It's like my brain has a personal vendetta against me. "Hey, let's forget the snacks, you can just eat your feelings for energy."
Reason 4: My Neighbor is Having a Yard Sale
Every time I try to leave the house, I get sucked into a yard sale. I'm like a moth to a flame.
Reason 5: I'm Allergic to Sunscreen
It's a real thing. Google it.
Reason 6: I Spent All My Money on Socks
Who needs a vacation when you have 500 pairs of socks?
Reason 7: I Got a Flat Tire
I'm like a magnet for potholes.
Reason 8: My Cat is a Thief
He's like a furry little Houdini.
Reason 9: I'm on the No-Fun Committee
I'm like the kid who gets stuck on the time-out bench.
Reason 10: I'm Just Not That Into Vacations
Who needs a vacation when you have Netflix?