Decisions Abandoned: A Chronology of Chaos
Here is a list of the most egregious, ill-conceived, and downright disastrous decisions made by the Committee of Conundrums:
- Decision 1: Installing a foosball table in the conference room, despite the fact that it's been a fire hazard for 5 years.
- Decision 2: Hiring a "motivational" speaker who turned out to be a 35-year-old man who still lived with his mother.
- Decision 3: Allowing the intern to "accidentally" delete the company's entire budget, because "it was just sitting there, unattended, like a begging to be erased."
- Decision 4: Filing a class action lawsuit against the coffee machine, because it "just didn't taste right."
And here are some of the notable attendees of these meetings:
- Reginald P. Bottomsworth III, Esq.
- Binky McSnookums, Committee Chairman
- Dr. Emily P. Brainstorm, Expert Consultant (who was actually just a 22-year-old grad student)
- Barry the Intern, who was "accidentally" deleted
And here are some notable absences from these meetings:
- The CEO, who was "too busy" to attend (i.e., he was at the beach)
- The entire IT department, who were too busy playing Minecraft to care
- The company's accountant, who was too afraid to speak up