In a shocking turn of events, our team of experts has discovered that the fundamental laws of biscuit physics have been grossly misunderstood. It turns out that the optimal biscuit-to-air ratio is not 3.14:1 as previously thought, but rather 1.62:1. This revelation has sent shockwaves throughout the scientific community, and our team is working tirelessly to correct the record.
Our research suggests that biscuits are, in fact, sentient beings with a propensity for teleportation. We're working on a paper detailing the Heisen-biscuit principle, which states that the act of observing a biscuit will cause it to change its flavor profile.