Meet the brave members of our esteemed Committee of Conundrums, currently embroiled in Sock Puppet Gate, a scandal of such epic proportions, it's a wonder the fabric of reality hasn't unraveled yet.
John Doesn't Know What He's Doing (Chairman) - A self-proclaimed expert on nothing, John has managed to confuse even himself.
Mary Gets Lost - Mary's sense of direction is only rivaled by her sense of responsibility.
Tim Is Tardy - Tim's chronic tardiness has become the committee's unofficial mascot.
It's alleged that our committee members have been secretly controlling the world's supply of socks, using their vast network of sock puppets to manipulate world events.
We're not saying it's true, but our team of highly trained, expert investigators (okay, it's just Bob from accounting) have uncovered some suspicious-looking socks in the break room.