This is a highly classified, extremely secret document detailing the forensic analysis of the most egregious donut-related crime of the century.
The Committee of Conundrums, comprised of the world's top donut forensics experts, has been working tirelessly to uncover the truth behind Donutgate.
Our findings are shocking, yet not surprising, as the evidence points to a trail of crumbs leading directly to the heart of the Donut Empire.
We have reason to believe that the CEO of Donut Inc. has been using underhanded tactics to manipulate the market and hoard the world's supply of sprinkles.
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