Dear Esteemed Members of the Committee of Conundrums,
We, Father John, have found ourselves in a bit of a pickle. Our cat, Mr. Whiskers, has gotten himself into a jam. He's eaten all the cheese from the fridge, and now he's feeling rather... gassy.
Donate Now and Save Mr. Whiskers' Sensitive Tooters!Donations can be made in the form of catnip, treats, or a nice, comfortable scratching post. We'll even accept Bitcoin, but let's be real, that's just for the cool kids.
Yours sincerely,
Father John, Chairman of the Committee of Conundrums