The Vertical Ascent: A Guide for the Perplexed
Step 1: Find a wall. Any wall will do.
Step 2: Stare at it for exactly 27 minutes and 14 seconds.
Step 3: Suddenly, the wall will reveal its secrets.
Step 4: Write them down in a journal, preferably with a fountain pen.
Next Steps: The Handbook of Hazards
Disclaimer: The Committee of Conundrums is not responsible for any brain damage caused by staring at walls.