Rotating Shredder Safety Guidelines

Because you can never be too careful when dealing with rotating shredders.

Safety Precautions

When operating a rotating shredder, always wear protective eyewear, a helmet, and a pair of steel-toed boots. Failure to do so may result in serious injury, or in extreme cases, spontaneous combustion.

• Do not use the shredder as a makeshift washing machine.
• Keep loose items, such as pets, children, and in-laws, at least 10 feet away from the shredder at all times.
• Never attempt to use the shredder as a substitute for a salad spinner.

Appendix: Shredder-Related Injuries Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers)

Copyright 2023 Committee of Conundrums. All rights reserved. Or not.

(Note: The provided path is a fictional committee meeting document, and the content is a humorous take on safety guidelines for a rotating shredder. The links provided are also fictional and part of the satirical/absurd tone of the site.)