BORIS THE BUREAUCRAT

THE BORIS FILE:

Boris the Bureaucrat, a man of utmost tedium and unyielding resolve, was once a mere mortal, but after years of toil within the labyrinthine corridors of the Committee of Conundrums, he was transformed into a paragon of paperwork.

RESUMÉ:

• Bachelors in Bureaucracy, University of Red Tape, 2001
• Certificate of Participation in Interminable Meetings

Boris has been known to spend up to 4 hours on a single memo, and has been credited with single-handedly keeping the world's supply of coffee at an all-time low.