The Lost City of Aztec Pizza, Inc.

Where the secrets of our secret sauce are kept

After years of research and experimentation, our culinary experts have finally cracked the code to the ancient art of Aztec Pizza Sauce. And now, we're willing to share it with the world.

The Recipe:

It's a closely guarded secret, but we'll give you a hint:

• 1 part love
• 2 parts disappointment
• 3 parts desperation
• 1/4 teaspoon regret
• 1 dash of existential dread
• 1 pinch of crushed dreams
• Stir until the sauce is just right

But be warned, the true secret to our sauce is not just in the ingredients, but in the tears and sweat of those who came before us.